Ugly Christmas Suits to Make You Puke –
We are bringing you the finest list of Ugly Christmas Suits on the web! As if Ugly Christmas Sweaters weren’t bad enough, the latest holiday trend taking the fashion world by storm is Ugly Christmas Suits. What is this world coming to? People spend their hard-earned dollars to intentionally look as hideous as possible. Yeah, I know. It was insane enough when people were paying to buy already ripped, holey jeans!
I’m almost embarrassed to admit the association, but there’s possibly about a 67% chance my brother started this Ugly Christmas Suit trend. He might have invented the first Ugly Christmas Suit sometime around the mid-2010’s when he found a very red suit at a Goodwill store. It might have been owned by Santa himself for all we know. Since Ugly Christmas Suits weren’t something widely available at nearly any online retailer like they are today, my brother had to make his own Ugly Christmas Suit.
He certainly did a nice job of making it ugly. He added actual greenery to an article of clothing. Who does that?!
I know what you’re all thinking. We should just break off all contact with him, but I assure you he’s mostly an okay guy. He just sometimes wears some really weird stuff. He one time had a pair of flip-flops with a bottle opener built into the toe! I think there was some story about his sandals breaking while he was on vacation and having to buy whatever he could get at a small beach shop. I can’t remember for sure what interesting excuse he gave us as he was opening a bottle of IBC Root Beer for one of my kids using the bottle opener he had just removed from his own foot.
On what planet does attaching a bottle opener to a shoe seem like a good idea? Let’s not even think about the fact that bottle opener has been on your sweaty foot all day. You also just sloshed that flip-flop all over the floor of a public restroom!!! Maybe the Ugly Christmas Suits won’t be the only part of this post making you puke. Yep, my kid still drank the root beer.
Bottle openers in his foot and an evergreen tree growing across his body — he’s a real Inspector Gadget. You can’t blame him entirely for all of his fashion issues though. He had a bit of a rough start there. Just look at the way my mom used to dress him.
So he invented this horrendous Ugly Christmas Suit, and then he actually wore it to his job. I know it’s hard to believe, but his company still lets him work there, and it’s been several years.
Wearing it to his job wasn’t enough public humiliation for my brother though. After work that day, he drove 1 1/2 hours from his home with his toddler along just to pick up my oldest daughter from high school wearing that outrageous apparel because he knew it would be completely epic to be the crazy uncle who shows up at the little, rural school in the middle of the cornfield to pick up his unsuspecting niece on her last day before Christmas Break.
It was like crazy Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation in reverse. Instead of the redneck cousin appearing in the suburbs in his raggedy RV, it was the crazy city uncle showing up in this outlandish suit in an environment where NOBODY wears suits. A man stands out enough just by being in a suit where we live, especially a bright red suit with Christmas ornaments dangling. My brother’s suit definitely put the UGLY in the Ugly Christmas Sweater Day they were having at the school to celebrate the last day of semester exams.
Remember I mentioned how my daughter was first exposed to Ugly Christmas Sweaters during her first year at public school in The Best of the Ugly: Christmas Sweaters Gone Wild. You need to check out that list of Ugly Sweaters too if you haven’t already. There are some really good (or is it really bad?) ones there. Since publishing that post my oldest and her husband have acquired a couple of additional Ugly Sweaters. That first Ugly Sweater Day was just the gateway drug of ugly sweaters for her, and they’re even dragging his sister into their fashion absurdity these days.
But enough about the Ugly fashion sense of my own family members, take a look at the latest crime against fashion. The inspiration for this post came when a cousin who had read the Ugly Christmas Sweater post sent me a picture of several ugly suits in a retail establishment. Apparently, the market for Ugly Christmas Suits is now a hot business in 2017.
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The Best of the Ugly: Christmas Suits to Make You Puke (in no particular order)
Yes, that’s the actual name of this suit. You definitely have to give them credit for the clever literary reference, but boy, that’s a lot of baby blue.
2.) Party Suit Coat
The color scheme of this one is just stunning! My great-granny used to crochet these lovely afghans. She would usually have some reasonable color scheme going through most of the blanket, but then somewhere in the middle, she would add this random line of bright orange that would ruin the entire blanket. Think Hunters’ Safety orange! It didn’t match anything else, and everyone would wonder why she did that. That’s kind of how I feel about this suit coat.
3.) Red Reindeer
This suit is certainly festive. If you want to walk around looking something like a candy cane, this is probably the suit for you.
Perhaps this is for the man who is so desperate for a kiss, he must wear the mistletoe.
Why? And what’s with the pony prop?
6.) Quilty Pleasure
It looks like a toy box threw up!
As if that leg lamp weren’t already about the ugliest thing on the whole planet, now you can find it on a pair of pants.
This is so very manly, and it kind of reminds me of a Twister board.
9.) Candy Cane
There are several odd things going on in this picture. I’m not sure if this man is supposed to look like an elf, or a leprechaun, or a cowboy.
10.) Santababe Skirt Suit
Ladies, I didn’t want to leave you out of the fun. You could be styling this fantastic skirt suit in the most beautiful shade of olive green.
That wraps up our Ugly Christmas Suits to Make You Puke. I’m sure you’ll all be rushing to buy something festive for your next holiday gathering. My son-in-law wants to own one of these suits. My daughter informed me he will wear one out in public if I buy it. Um, no. I can’t see paying $60-$100 for an Ugly Christmas Suit. I might be willing to buy him something at Goodwill though, and then he can get creative with his own build-a-suit like my brother did.
Feel free to share photos of your very best Ugly Christmas apparel on our Facebook page. We would love to feature your picture as one of our Ugly Christmas Sightings. Please only share pictures if you have permission from the subject of the photo though. I’ve already been in trouble once this week for posting my son wearing a dinosaur onesie on Facebook.
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